Unhealthy Relationship Signs- Lack of Trust

There are many signs that could indicate you are in an unhealthy relationship. I decided to narrow down a long list to discuss a few warning signs that should help you consider the type of relationship you are in. Oftentimes we tend to overlook certain signs because we believe these characteristics will change. We also might not be aware of these signs because we are used to experiencing or witnessing these acts in our family of origin. Let’s begin with trust. If we are struggling to have trust in our relationship or be trusted by our partner it can impact our sense of satisfaction. I consider mistrust and dishonestly red flags and indicators that your relationship might not be the right one for you or that your relationship needs some help.

When we feel that we cannot trust our partner it can make us think or act in ways that  are inconsistent with our true self, the phrases I commonly hear are “they make me crazy” or “why do I feel this way?”. The lack of trust we are feeling may be initiated by our partners actions signaling that they are dishonest or hiding something from us. It is important to consider why we feel that our partner is untrustworthy. We can fail to recognize how our past experiences are being projected onto our current relationships when we don’t  explore why we are feeling a certain way. 

No matter where these feelings are coming from trust is an important factor in a healthy and fulfilling relationship. You cannot have true intimacy in a relationship if you cannot trust the relationship. Intimacy requires putting your guard down and practicing vulnerability. If you don't feel like you can trust your partner with your feelings, safety, or needs, how can you be truly vulnerable? How your partner addresses trust is another important indicator of relationship health. Is your partner understanding? Helpful? Empathetic? Does your partner listen to your concerns? Or blame you? 

So a few questions to consider when assessing the level of trust in your relationship or partner:

Do they trust me? Do they act like they trust me?

Do I trust my partner? Do I act like I trust them?

Do I have valid reasons to NOT trust my partner?

Is your partner dishonest toward others?

Are my past relationship experiences impacting my ability to trust?

When I come to my partner with my worries is he/she respectful? caring? Or demeaning?